Talking To Yourself: It Is Perfectly Normal and Actually Beneficial


Often, at the end of coaching sessions, clients tell me what a “relief” it is to get “it” off their chests, whatever “it” may be.

There’s something about articulating a problem or concern–assigning real words to whatever is bothering you–that takes it out of the abstract column where things that are nagging at you live, and transforms it into a problem that might actually be met with a solution.

Once it is spoken, defined, and discussed, it becomes fixable. This can come on the heels of stressing over and thinking about the problem for weeks prior.

Venting is important to reach our goals.  We must get past the pent up energy. Energy is better “in” than “out.”

Feeling better after speaking a problem out loud is not just an unexplained feeling of relief; there is actually science behind this phenomena.

Studies show that when you are looking for something in your home, speaking the name of the object gives you more clarity as to where it might be.

Martha Tesema, in an article published by Shine, says, “Research has shown that talking to yourself out loud can motivate you to move forward with your goals, help you focus on a task at hand, and combat self-criticism.”

“By choosing to focus your attention on a specific theme or idea you elevate that intention.”

She quotes the New York Times, which covered the study by Gary Lupyan from University of Wisconsin-Madison, and asks, “How many times have you gone through explaining a problem to a friend, and before he could say a word about it you had already figured out the solution by yourself?”

The very act of explaining a problem out loud can, by itself, be enough to solve it.

You can be your own cheerleader.

If talking out loud in public, or even privately in front of your dog, makes you feel self-conscious or awkward, a coach is willing to listen to you, without judgment.

My clients who have put their problems into words breathe a sigh of relief at the end of our sessions together, and leave fully motivated to take that next step.

DM me so we can talk out loud with each other.